Numbness

I don’t feel any highs or lows that much lately, 2020 has been hard on everyone including me.

I was stressed, almost depressed, being in lockdown faraway from my loved ones, surviving alone but actually not alone since everyone are struggling to survive the pandemic, emotionally drained from many things.

But eventually I made it to 2021

The whole year my 28 years old age wasted, but manage to stay alive with the conditions i have

I had my heart broken several times, broke up with the man I thought who’s gonna be the one

Finding other one who happened to be the wrong person too

Emotionally drained from this sandwich generation suffer that I get from family, everyone

My coping mecanism with the stress I deal was really something, sometimes I feel a deep emotion, sometimes I feel nothing, numb

Sometimes I feel happy, excited, sad, or broken, sometimes I just not feeling anything at all.

Sometimes I cry hard for the pain I got from the people I love, sometimes I just dont give a damn about anything and face my day with no worry

Sometimes I am full of love, the next day I feel nothing

Numbness, reach me in the way I dont think it can

No emotions, no happiness, nor sadness, no ambitions, motivations nor demotivational things

I just stay alive, survive, welcoming the day, ending the night, on repeat