The theme is a bit heavy to write today. Love is the most beautiful feeling people may have. Love is something my parents have for me, my brothers give to me, eventhough its not in the sweetest way like others. Love isnt always being shown by sweet acts, sweet words, or promises. Love is struggling from parents to raise the kids, providing the needs for their life eventhough things seem hard, the tears in their prayers to ask God guide their kids in the way the believe is good for them. Love can be in the form of your quarrel with siblings, not always in the sweet touch or words. Love can be in any form, from your family, friends, or everyone.
Love could be in the form of showing attention and care to your friends, or people around. You do good to others, help them, pray for other people. You witness your bestfriend wedding day, sending each other gifts, picking them up from long flight, getting soaked under the rain to meet your beloved friends, and some more acts, they are love too. Love isnt complicated if we let it. We care for the people, we are in their life, we want them to stay and grow loving each other.
Love is transforming in many ways we can see, feel or notice, and sometimes we dont even realize its something called love. I grow up with such struggling to do something we called love, to myself, for years. There’s the lowest point in my life when I feel like I dont deserve other people to be with me. I feel ugly, I just wanna die because i wasnt pretty, things are ruined. But as I grow up, love is something i should grow within. I cant give up myself, torture this body but living inside it. I grow my self love stronger. I no longer tolerate people who will harm the love of me to myself, in bad way.
Love when youre getting older feels more complicated. The loveline you’ve been through. The monkey love, the temporary love, the toxic love, the insane love, the wrong love you’re still into up until now. Love isnt supposed to happen by force. Love supposed to happen naturally, it cant be traded, bought or sold. You can’t make people to love you nor prevent it. You love who you love, not the one who you choose to marry or the one you date, or whatsoever, love just happens. Often happen I love people wholeheartedly but get only half or not more than that from what I give to other people. I believe the big amount of love i give to people will come back to me from whatever the way. When I devoted myself to one person I tend to give him the world, I may have crush easily on many but only some can be counted as falling in love.
People say why are you so picky finding the one. I really should be picky cause the wrong love will cause everything, time, efforts, and my whole life. I have been through bad love lines, found the wrong ones, now still keep going strong alone between the lines. Love is a bond that keep people to be committed and bonded to each other, thats what i believe. As I grow older and met many type of guys form of love can be various, said, shown by acts, some even ended before blooming. Love can be hidden in the stolen stare he gave when you look away. Love can also messed up with lust, destroying the friendship under the ground without you knowing what’s that one person doing without you around. Youre dying to know but the ego keep you away from coming. Love can be so confusing, you think youre okay without one another but youre just torturing your heart even more. Love can be hidden in knowing every details your person tell you, you notice small things, his food taste, making sure he could eat his meals when feeling unwell, his bad sides but youre still willing to stay, his pasts, his gentle side that makes you fall deeper for the person, that coffee taste, how you cope up with your stress that he knew . Love can stay already but you keep denying, some realize it when its too late, some still got time to realize and win it.
Love can give you butterflies, other time it gives you burst of tears of sadness. Love sometimes come and end in the unwanted way. I’m growing as a lovesick girl and I just want a love that’s simple. I just want that love who will do things to make it work together, to unite us in a way much better, to not make each other suffer, and to grow together in a better world.
“Like it’s stated in the Quran, the best way to make two people who love is being united in a marriage.”
And who’s gonna be the love of my life till then?