Bullying can be experienced from many relations not only kid to another kids, person to person, or groups but can also from parents to kids or the opposite. Being bullied for not being the kids as our parents expected? Being bullied for failing in relationships or being unmarried? Being bullied verbally and mentally as a kid? Being bullied for our lack of achievements in other people points of view? Or other various forms, they all give impacts. Bullying itself have short and long term impacts, more bad impacts will be for the one being bullied. Jadi ketika si pembully ini beraksi dan kita berada di posisi terbully, we should later know how to act and prevent the worse.
Perkembangan social media, bullying berkembang tidak hanya secara langsung dilakukan. It can be done as cyber bullying too. People don’t need to face each other directly to experience the bully. It can be in many forms, harsh comment, body shamming and such to do the bullying in cyber world. We all who were bullied have different types of bullying to experience. Dan efek yang dialami bagi setiap orang dapat berbeda tergantung ketahanan individu sendiri. In some cases, bullying lead to suicide, depression as worsening impacts of the acts. Sayangnya, dalam masyarakat bullying rentan dilakukan dan dimaklumkan. Tindakan mengejek dan mengajak orang lain turut serta untuk bullying yang sering dilakukan berakhir dengan harap maklum. Not all people has the ability to endure the pain anyway, some may lead them to feeling unwanted and commit suicide at the end.
Parents bullying to kids can also happen. So does the opposite. Kids growing up being compared to other kids and not being heard for their opinion may lead them to feeling unimportant. Some even experienced physical bullying on their early age. Some people unaware that the behaviors they perform are bullying acts. In my case, me and @faishalp growing up through several phase of bullying that we realize later as we grow up. Being adult we both not wanting the wrong concept of parenting that we got in our young age affect our other brothers. We all agree to correct each others when things started to go wrong. As the impacts, for me I have trust issues that still last until now. People may say, ga boleh gitu ah gimanapun dia orangtuamu/adek/kakak/keluarga mu dan membenarkan bullying dan perilaku toxic terjadi dan dimaklumi. No, we have to help each other to overcome this matter.
Bullying not only happen to kids at school age but also adults. Bullying yang bisa terjadi di tempat kerja kerap dialami orang dewasa dalam berbagai bentuk seperti physical attack, sexual molesting, cacian cibiran atau hinaan untuk menjatuhkan, bahkan karena posisi tertentu digunakan untuk intimidating, atau bahkan di lingkungan social terkait pasangan yang over controlling. Dibully soal physical appearance karena gendut, kurus, atau penampilan yg tidak ideal bagi pembully? Atau life experience yang dianggap berbeda, not getting married or not having kids yet? A controlling partner who treat us bad and make us feeling unwanted? The repetitive acts as bullying can happen if we let it be and don’t defend ourselves or our peer. Some people try to be tall by cutting off others. And the impact in my case it somehow giving me difficulties to settle with a partner after experiencing bad repetitive behavior they do.
My Bullying Experience
I was about to be in 4th grade of elementary school when it was semester break. Sebagai anak yang aktif aku selalu melakukan pekerjaan yg bisa kulakukan termasuk membantu orangtua. Singkat cerita musibah terjadi dan hal paling buruk dalam hidupku yang memberi impact besar bagiku terjadi. I was badly injured after got burnt, the whole hot cooking my mom made poured into my little body and I was for a second unconscious. Runaway seeking help and hospitalized for a month. All my friends scared of the changes I had, so do I. And thats when the worst stage bullying that happened in my young age affect me. Up until now the trauma still haunt me and drag me down to question myself why do I have to experience such bad luck while my friends have their easy life.
Short story I have to wear hijab because I have scars. I couldnt join the sports class and got bullied physical and mentally at school. When I first open up my bandage that cover up many parts of my body, I just hate myself for being ruined like this. I cry hard asking the doctor to bring back my old conditions why didnt I just die why do I turn ugly unlike before. Entering school again after long and upside down world of mine be was the hardest. Those elementary school students classmates of mine and the teacher started to treat me like shit. Kemranyas rasa hati ini kalo mengingat bullying yang dialami 10 old years old Anggi. Plus people also blame my parents for what happened to me instead of helping more and wish me well.
Two years I got bullied on elementary school. I used to ranked 1st in class, was a happy nice and pretty girl they knew before but turned out to be monster they called me “Gerandong”. Sucks and it wound me deep somehow up until now.
In this bullying I am thankful for my parents who lost the job and run out of money for my hospital bills and treatment. We’ve been in all ups and downs and thankfully for this bullying after me being burnt they support me in their way of course.
Things that broke my heart, a teacher gave me nickname since I couldnt join the sports due to my weak condition and lead my classmates to bully me daily with the calling she addressed to me. I started lose friends, they dont want the ugly me. Even boys who were crazy about me said I am a beauty that turned out to be monster, ya in front of my face they started to stay away from me. My upside down world torn me apart, treatment, pain, weak body, and the bullying. Cant you just take me with you God? I remember how I hate life and myself.
I still remember I cry once when I come back from school. Dikata katai dengan sebutan tak pantas bagi anak anak dan bertahun tahun dibully adalah hal yang masih sulit kupercaya. Dari teman banyak tinggal beberapa, dari cantik jadi dianggap buruk rupa. I realize those morons arent friends to me when I grew up, they just care about physical appearrances but acting shitty in such young age. Worst day when all the boys got angry to me because something I didnt do, a girl called Tia told them lies and they directed their anger towards me. She’s the one who reported to the teacher for the boys breaking the rules but me being the target of their anger. I remember how I stand to defend myself, I didnt cry when they kick me, slap me, push me, throwing things and step on my books with their dirty nasty shoes. Asyuu aku ngetik dengan ati kemranyas :”
You may all believe that bitch lying but look I will be living better life than today. Trust her and whatever fuck you all. God never sleep, and I wont shed a tear to your behaviors.
I am in pain, treatment and exercise to make my hands functioning well. After two years and got my grade in school falling down, I stand up for myself. Look I survived the hell of my elementary school days. The worst people to bully me deserve the karma and they got it. Starting junior high school things get better, I easily made friends with people because of my personality. They dont see the face who has scars but a nice girl with a good heart. I am so thankful for the starting after escaping elementary school. But thing is I grew up being more rebel, as long as I am happy and have my friends. I see this pattern behavior of mine when things get hard all I do is protecting myself, being defensive. And become careless sometimes, less ambitious as long as my school days are getting better than before. Growing up to hight school and college turns out I didnt get into the school that I want. I am being medioker but its fine.
We all have bad chapters in life that we want to escape sometimes, but those are the things that make us who we are now. And I am grateful for what I am now till today. We all have issues and bad chapters but it’s fine.
See ya in a happier life chapter, dear all bullying survivors.
We are strong!